It has been a really long year and it’s only f**king April … !

My life on We Heart It.

shine😊 on We Heart It.

Hasn’t it killed me yet ? on We Heart It.

I don’t think is picture is really that triggering so I’m putting it here rather then on my password protected blog.  But anyway the point of this picture was just to let you know how many stupid sticky dots that nurses stick on you if they think there may be a problem with your heart.  Also when I finally got them off they’ve left behind sticky patches that I’m having to scrub (and I really mean scrub) off. Oops and I just found four more dots on my legs, that’s my waxing done for the day :P

Tuesday/Wednesday April 22nd/23rd 2014

Well, to keep everyone in the loop I had a bad night last night. I felt really nauseous, dizzy, had trouble breathing, an irregular heartbeat and abnormal ECG.  So about 10 hrs after my discharge from hospital I was in a ambulance on the way back to emergency after my parents finding me passed out on the bathroom floor (classy I know) :P I was lucky to get a good doctor in emergency.  She thinks that initially I was having a reaction to my anti depressant and then had an allergenic reaction to an anti nauseous drug that they gave me in the ambulance.  I’m physically well now and back at home. 


So if you sent me a message I think I’ve answered all the message from my inbox.  But if my response to you is even more long winded then normal I hope that you’ll cut me a bit of slack as I have slept in about 40 hrs. So be warned some of my answers are even more odd then normal.  So I’ll be off Tumblr at 5pm my time (ie in 25mins ish). As I’m pretending that I am an old person tonight and I’ll be tucked up under my new weighted blanket by 7pm.  ‘Night guys’


O and I almost forgot I’m currently making a new page where I plan to share the good tips and tricks that I learnt while in the psych ward.  NB most of this tips were not from the staff but the other patients.  Right, I’m done rambling now I promise!

Anonymous asked:
I just want to say I think you're awesome for being here and supporting everyone that needs help. The world needs more people like you stay strong dear.

Naw Anon wow!  (Oops I forget to say hello, how rude of me ~ HELLO!)  I love your message it makes my sleepy heart smile!  I think that the world would be a much happier place if we were all as kind and supportive as you in real life as well as on Tumblr.  And who know maybe you are a super super kind person to people in your real life too.  But sadly I struggle sometimes to support the people in real life who love me the most.  But I would bet that you a lovely to the people in ‘real’ life too.  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
I really want to cut. I haven't in a long time. Like maybe three months? Idk. Anyway I really want to but I know even if I do I won't actually be cutting. I just can't seem to cut deep. They're more like scratches than anything. I'm just a poser I guess. I'm sorry to waste your time

Hi my troubled Anon.  You are just magic.  Do you know why?  Well, I’m going to assume you don’t and tell you anyway - you are magic because you asked for help!  That is so brave, courageous and all other synonymous to those two words.  Take a look, here, I’ve looked them up for you so all you have to do is sit back and read about how great I think you are.  On a more practical you could take a look at this distraction page and see if anything takes your fancy.  Now that practical point is out of the way I’m going to keep tell you are great I think you are.  Ready?  Well tough luck if you’re not cause I am :P  To keep you self harm to shallow cuts is excellentant (*Mr Burns Fingers*) I’m proud of your for keep such control of yourself when you must be going though something/s that distress you deeply.  You are not a poser, self harm is self harm and that’s that. We cut shallow or deep, burn, scratch, pull our hair out etc but I think no matter how you do it your pain is as real as mine or anyone’s else’s.  Ans lastly, you are NOT wasting my time. In fact I am wasting your time by sending you silly links in the hope of trying to take your mind away to a different (hopefully happyish) place for even a few short seconds! Please be strong Anon, pretend you leave in the land of Hansel and Gretal but there is no witch is the yummy house, just you and you gingerbread dog toasting up some marshmallows and eating your way through you’re tasty house before Hansel and Gretal come to wreck your fun!  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
Please dont go. You're a beautiful person.

I’m running out of interesting greetings so you get this lovely rambling sentence instead.  I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.  To be honest once I get though my messages on Tumblr I’m having dinner, a long shower and tucking myself into bed at about 6pm!  I know this makes me sound so old but I don’t care, I was young last night as I didn’t sleep tonight.  So if I was too young last night and too old tonight I’ll be back to my real age by the morning.  Thanks for the great message Anon, take care.  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
Stay strong honey, we are all with you and always there for you !!! you WILL get through this

HI ANON (I LOVE WRITING IN CAPITALS TOO!) Okay that’s enough capitals for me for one day :P  I’m doing my best to be strong, I think at the end of all of this being strong I will have the body of one of those creepy women body builders!  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
I hope you get better. I hope that everything goes well at hospital. It upsets me so much that a beautiful person like yourself goes through a world full of pain. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I hope you can find a cure I hope you can get out of this. I love you. I love you so much.

Greeting my sunglasser clad Anon.  Most of hospital was not a good or helpful experience sadly. I think I learnt more from the other patients then from the clinical staff.  But don’t get me wrong if you are unsafe in normal day to day life, while you are in hospital you are most definitely safe.  I hope that you know that you deserve just as much happiness as you’ve just wished me.  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
Hello, darling. Just wanted to say that I think you're a really strong person, and that I support you to the fullest. Things will be alright. ^-^

To good afternoon Anon and may God smile on you!  Thank you for being so supportive it means so much to me that you would take the time to message me such kind thoughts.  Take care Anon.  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
hey, out of curiosity - but what does your boyfriend say about the cutting, has he seen the extent of scaring they do to your body? (what about when youre having sex, is he cautious around stitched wounds, sorry if thats personal)

Hello to you Anon.  I hope you don’t mind but I’ve given you a nick name, to me you are Curious George (BTW he is a very cool monkey so please take the name as a compliment, unless of course you don’t like monkeys in which case you can just be George.)  I don’t mind answering your question, I’ve never really thought about it but I guess that’s something that people think about.  My boyfriend doesn’t like that I hurt myself cause he loves me and never want to see me get hurt even if I’m the one doing the hurting.  Yes, we have been together for 2 years so he has seen my whole body scars and stitches included. He is lovely when he see the healed scars, he tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful even with the scars and then he kisses them to ‘make them all better’.  As for sex when I have stitches we are both really careful to work around them as best we can, like to not pull them or put pressure on them.  I hope that answered your questions, sorry this turned out to be a long response but I wanted to try and give you as much information as I feel comfortable to share.  Goodbye Curious George, hopefully I will hear from you again as you have very insightful questions.  <~3 Josey

Anonymous asked:
Hey could I please have the password to you're pics?

Hi there Anon.  I’m sorry but I don’t want to make the password public.  But all you need do is message me off anon and I’ll happily give it to you if you think you are safe to view triggering images.  Take care my little Anon friend!  <~3 Josey

    • You clicked on my ask, smile to you. See it's a smilie (✿◠‿◠) Because you took the time to write to me I'll respond to any question you ask.
    • ۞
    • If you ask off anon I'll message back privately. I'll only publish non-anon questions if I've got your permission to do so. If you want your non-anon question published just let me know when you ask it.
    • ۞
    • Also I love anons and I’ve decided to greet anons with a factoid, joke, saying or whatever else pops into my mind but if I'm having a bad day then you probably won't get one because I'm not in the right head space to write one, sorry. I hope that you like them!