This is bad, s**t, I can’y fix this on my own.

My Second Suicide Attempt {Part 10}

The next day I could move more and even talk a little bit, my Mum came in the morning and I could talk to her.  It was magic!  I couldn’t say much but even saying anything was good.  In the afternoon the speech person came again and I could eat the thickened fluid better then the day before!  Also that day, the lovely nurse was back on and she said when the physio came I could try and go and have a shower instead of the sponge wash.  I couldn’t stand but I could sit on a chair under the shower.  The nurse still had to help me a lot but it was just amazing to feel the water from the shower.  When I got back to bed my Mum was there with my favourite hair oil, it smells so good.  I sat on a chair near the bed and my Mum brushed my hair and put the oil in.  I felt so clean for the first time in ages.  The doctors were happy that day that I could leave ICU and go to a ward.  The change of scenery was great.  They took out the central venous line that was in my neck, and a few of the other IV lines.  But they left two of them for the drips,  sadly the catheter had to stay too. 

I think that something bad will happen tonight.

Little lion

Pig

Puppy!

Little clay couple

Three little monsters

Clay cat

Wednesday 23th July 2014

Things aren’t going well.  Yet again I can’t sleep so I apologise in advance for posting too much over the next few hours.  To start the posting off I’ve been making little clay things.  To give you a bit of scale, they are all less than 2cm (0.8 inches) large. 

Mother mouse and her two kids with of course a chunk of cheese

Anonymous asked:
I'm so close to death and and I feel like no one including my therapist takes me seriously. This life just isn't worth living for me. There's my secret. To be honest I don't really want advice. I just had to say it.

Hello to you Anon.  I’m trying really hard to stop my figures from typing some sort of advice back to you.  So I’ll try really hard in the answer not to give you advice but please forgive me if I slip up, okay? I’m sorry to hear that your life doesn’t seem to be worth living.  Anon, to be honest with you, I feel the same way.  Just know your not alone and that you don’t have to keep your secrete.  <~3 Josey